When you feel spurned or injured by someone, you might feel that the only way to heal the mental wound is by gaining closure. If there has been no contact, you might see closure as necessary to end things on a respectful note. However, closure can have many definitions and might not result in total satisfaction, either for you or the other party. This discussion may help you find closure without putting too many expectations on it.
Don’t Let It Fester
If you held a grudge against every person who’s wronged you, you wouldn’t be able to think about anything else. You can be angered over what’s happened to you, but you needn’t let it ruin your ability to think clearly. According to The Kindley Firm, when you’ve been hurt by somebody else, you have a limited time window in which you can legally seek damages. If you’ve been hurt by someone, you should seek compensation as it will help you recover physically and mentally. However, some hurts aren’t the kind that can be cited in court. Instead of letting it linger for years, find a meaningful way to deal with your anger and indignation.
Acknowledge That You Might Not Get an Apology
People who seek closure can get caught up imagining the other person being totally repentant for their transgression. However, that person might feel as though they’ve done no wrong and believe you’re the one at fault. If you tell somebody about how they hurt you and they become defensive or otherwise refuse to apologize, understand that some people just can’t be convinced they’re wrong. This can also make your decision easier if you’re not sure about whether your relationship with them is worth salvaging.
Just Let Go
You don’t have to prove you’re right and get an apology in order to receive closure. The only person you can control is yourself, and just deciding that you’d be better off putting the issue to rest is one of the most mature decisions you can make. You don’t have to excuse someone’s behavior or even forgive them by letting go. All you’re doing is expressing that your self-worth and life are both greater than any sort of need to reach a conclusion that might always elude you. Sometimes you might need therapy to let things go, especially if a grudge is preventing you from living the life you want to live. According to Annie Wright Psychotherapy, therapy can help you recognize and change deep-rooted thoughts and behavior that are holding you back.
The desire for closure is understandably strong, as people don’t like to be left hanging. However, being attached to one particular type of closure or even attaining that closure won’t necessarily bring you any closer to satisfaction. Closure is a good thing to receive, but you shouldn’t feel as though it’s the only way to find peace.
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